Adopting a child – should we do it?

1. Introduction to adopting a child

When couples are not able to conceive a child, the practice of adoption promises prospective parents the experience and joy of having children. Hundreds of thousands of children are adopted every year across the world. In developed countries, the costs involved in adopting a single child can be as much as USD 50,000. While there is a common belief that adoption is the road to a better and more stable future for the adopted child, in this article we offer a spiritual perspective on both:

• the practice of giving a child up for adoption
• the practice of adopting a child

2. Spiritual factors behind infertility and not being able to conceive

It is understandable that families without children wish to adopt them as the desire for children is a natural one. It can be very painful to not be able to conceive children, especially when we do not know the reason.

In the table below, we give a breakdown of the reasons for not being able to conceive.

Reasons for not being able to conceive
Type	Percentage
1. Genetic (Biological factors)	20
2. Psychological factors	30
3. Spiritual factors due to destiny	50
3A. Ancestral Problems	(35)
3B. Negative energy problems	(15)

Source: Spiritual research by SSRF.org as of 2014

1. Genetic or biological factors include problems with ovulation, hormonal imbalances, blocked fallopian tubes and sperm disorder.

2. Psychological conditions, such as depression and stress, can reduce libido and can result in changes in hormone levels (chemicals that are produced by the body).

3. Spiritual factors:

a. A possible sign of infertility being a spiritual problem is if a doctor diagnoses a patient with an ‘unexplained fertility problem’ or if he or she can’t pinpoint the cause of one’s trouble conceiving.

b. Problems of conceiving caused due to departed ancestors can be overcome by chanting Deity Datta’s Name.

c. Families without children could also reduce the severity of their destiny by doing spiritual practice as per the six basic principles of spiritual practice.

d. If a couple cannot conceive children despite their best efforts, then from a spiritual perspective it is best to accept it as God’s will and focus their efforts on growing spiritually in this lifetime.

e. From a spiritual perspective however, we can recognize that it is our destiny to not be able to have children and simply accept it. We have also provided further perspectives for the couple who intends to adopt in the subsequent sections.

SSRF has dedicated sections on its website to explain departed ancestral spirits, destiny and demonic possession and overcoming spiritual problems.

3. Spiritual consequences of adoption on the child and the adopting family

In current times almost all of us experience some form of distress caused by departed ancestral spirits. Families who cannot have children generally have medium to severe ancestral distress. More often than not, this is the root cause of infertility and the inability to have children. When a family with severe ancestral distress adopts a child, the child by default inherits the adopting family’s ancestral distress, too. From a spiritual perspective, this is actually harmful for the child. In addition, the child continues to have karmic ties with departed ancestral spirits from his or her biological family. Thus the child inadvertently inherits two sets of departed ancestors from both families. Adoption also creates new give-and-take accounts with the new family which then adds to the concerned people being stuck in the cycle of life and death.

Conversely, the adopting family can also be negatively impacted if the child is affected or possessed by a ghost or higher level negative energies. This can increase the pain experienced by all family members. Physical pain can be cured by medical treatment; however severe spiritual distress can only be overcome by undertaking intense spiritual practice. Otherwise this distress continues into our next birth as well. When we takes into account such perspectives, one may reconsider if one should adopt a child.

3.1.1 Intention behind giving up a child for adoption

There are many reasons why parents may consider giving their child up for adoption. For example some people give up their child for adoption so that at least he or she is able to get a financially stable future. Indeed, there may be a possibility that the child will be adopted by parents who are financially well-off. On the flip side, parents may be setting their child up for greater spiritual distress if the adopting family is affected by negative energies. Alternatively, if parents were to keep the child and encourage him or her to undertake spiritual practice along with themselves, the chances are that God Himself would alleviate their financial condition.

3.1.2 Intention behind opting to adopt a child

Adopting couples may also have different intentions behind the decision to adopt. While it may seem that adoption is an act of one’s own will, the fact is that 65% of our decisions are taken due to spiritual factors alone. Even though in some cases we may feel that adoption is a noble act, from a spiritual perspective it actually further involves us in worldly life which may take us away from the basic purpose of life, that is spiritual growth.

4. Summary on the practice of adoption and whether one should opt for it

For the family intending to adopt:

Being born on earth as a human is a blessing. The reason is that this plane of existence is where we can make maximum efforts in the purpose of life: spiritual growth. Therefore, from a purely spiritual perspective, if a couple cannot get children despite best efforts, then it would be best if they can accept it as their destiny and focus their effort on growing spiritually instead. This would result in them not creating any give-and-take account with the adopted child.

If this is not possible and they feel that they simply must have a child, then too, by undertaking regular spiritual practice they could help both themselves and the child that they are going to adopt. As a result they would minimise any spiritual distress which could arise from the adoption from either side.

For the family wanting to give up their child for adoption:

The spiritual well-being of a child is paramount and supersedes financial well-being. If we are centred spiritually and focused on spiritual growth, then God provides us with all that is required for their spiritual growth in the material world. Being granted a child is a blessing and the highest gift that we can give any other human being is helping them and nurturing them in their spiritual practice. However, the spiritual practice needs to conform to the 6 basic principles of spiritual practice and not sectarian spiritual practice.

Finally, big decisions in life such as wanting to give up a child or wanting to adopt a child generally has a destined element to it due to one’s give and take account. Spiritual practice provides us with the strength to always choose the higher path: that which is best for the family’s spiritual growth and thus overcome adverse destiny.